My Approach
Barb’s intention is to create sacred spaces for healing and foster grief-literate communities, one conversation at a time. Facing our grief and relationship with death can bring richness and depth to life, and Barb is here to walk alongside you. If tended to, grief can guide healing and make life more joyful. This tending doesn’t take a lot of time, but it does require dedicated effort. We aim to be in a place of balance, where our grief remains present, but our love is stronger.
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Barb completed a full-time career in addiction treatment in prison settings. She has training through Yerusha Institute in the Age-ing to Sage-ing Program and is a Certified Grief Educator through David Kessler. David Kessler is a renowned expert on grief and loss. His latest book, Finding Meaning, was very influential for Barb who credits her work with David as helping her move through grief into love.
My Story
My inspiration for this work is my parents, Theresa and Yitzak, who both died without receiving treatment for their addictions and mental challenges. What I saw as a child didn’t make sense: bottles of alcohol, empty glasses, loud music, filled ashtrays, and adults yelling at each other. It started to make sense when I was in my 40s, working in a drug treatment program, that my parents had a disease of the mind known as addiction. I learned that some of the things my mother said to me were things no mother in her right mind would say to her child. But my mother wasn’t in her right mind; she had experienced psychotic breaks characteristic of mental illness. My father, a veteran of WWII, was volatile and unpredictable. I learned that the violence that erupted from him so routinely was part of his addiction and unhealed trauma. They had been through brutal traumas of their own and could only find relief by numbing their pain. Wanting to numb pain is part of the complex illness called addiction, which needs compassionate treatment. They did not have the opportunity for treatment and the hope for a better life.
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Through my own dedicated grief work, I have learned to remember them with more love than pain. I now have memories of them that bring a smile to my face, along with appreciation and gratitude for the gift of my life. I dedicate my work to their memories. In 2014, I completed a full-time career in mental health and addiction treatment, retiring from the State of Connecticut, Department of Correction, Addiction Services Unit, and private practice. For the last ten years, I like to say I was preparing for this moment. I now spend much of my time enjoying my children and their families. And I couldn’t retire completely. The pandemic brought me sorrow and new opportunities for growth and joy. I completed David Kessler’s Grief Educator Training, and I’m a certified grief educator. I’m honored to share the experience I now have in grieving fully and living fully with you. I currently offer support groups with a psycho-education component, coaching, and consultations for grievers, therapists, and other helping professionals.